Sex Difficulties
Struggling with Sexual Intercourse, Relationship Issues, Sexual Compatibility
They Might Be Thinking:
- I am EMBARRASSED and ASHAMED.
- I hope no one ever finds out.
- I am FRUSTRATED that my needs are not being met.
- Should I tell my doctor?
- I am a disappointment to my partner.
- There is something wrong with me.
- This is all my fault.
- Am I always going to be this way?
- I will never be able to satisfy someone.
- I am uncomfortable talking about my sex life.
- My partner is going to leave me.
- Others will make fun of me if I tell them.
- This is ruining my relationship.
- I am not attractive enough.
- I just don’t understand. This has never happened before.
- I feel like our entire relationship has changed.
- I just want to be left alone.
Words That Might Be Encouraging:
- Thank you for telling me what has been going on. I know this may be embarrassing/uncomfortable/difficult to talk about, and you should be proud of yourself for opening up.
- I will continue to support you and stand by your side.
- I don’t blame you for this. It happens and it isn’t your fault.
- We can work through this together.
- I care about you.
- What can I do for you?
- I want you to know there is no pressure to have intercourse. We can take things slow.
- How has this been affecting you mentally and emotionally?
- [Provide verbal reassurance in the moment] Hey, it’s okay. Let’s just chill out for a second.
- [Suggest a different activity] How about you touch me?
- If you want, we can explore the option of talking to someone who can help us.
- There’s no need to apologize. It’s not because of something either of us did or didn’t do. There’s no one to blame.
- I think you are wonderful and I am still attracted to you. This has nothing to do with the way I feel about you.
Words That Might Be Discouraging:
- [Laughs]
- Don’t worry, plenty of people go through this.
- Maybe you’re asexual.
- It’s me, isn’t it? I guess I’m not sexy enough.
- You just need to try harder in the bedroom.
- If you weren’t stressing out all the time, we wouldn’t have this problem.
- I made an appointment for us to see a sex therapist. [It is best to discuss this option with a partner beforehand to ensure they are comfortable and willing to seek professional help.]
- But you’re too young to have these difficulties.
- [Talks about their satisfying sex life]
- You should read/watch Fifty Shades of Grey. That always gets me in the mood.
See Personalized Encouragement Recommendations for Someone You Care About
Personalize: Name & Relationship (sign-in/up to complete personal profile information to improve encouragement recommendations)
Share this encouragement guide:
Readers like you rated this guide:
Was this guide helpful?
Your rating will help us improve this encouragement guide.
